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Thursday, August 11, 2005
Trying to Love
  Client... client... client... Customer... customer... customer... Customer is always right - hmmppp not for me sorry.... CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT BUT CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS A CUSTOMER.... [deep sigh] I have been recieving so many irate callers these past few days and really they are all so annoying... my patience is running out but still it reminds me on how to learn to extend it and to control my human nature coming out... just like what the Lord always tells us to learn to love our neighbor and these client are the very good example for me to exercise in learning to love my neighbor in times that I badly needed it most.... 
   
   Often times, the people I met in school, office, malls, parks and in any places are hard to live with. Though I have so many friends, and I really thanked the Lord that He maketh me to blend in every kind of people with different values, attitudes, culture, beliefs and likes in life... Friends that I indeed treasured so much and never even forget.... [deep sigh] People whom I called friends have let me down for so many times and I am afraid to be hurt again and again... Sometimes I feel I am merely a means to an end and no one cares about me as a person.
   
   To respect, care for, help, comfort, and ensure that another person's needs are met, before thinking about ourselves, is very hard. It is difficult enough to make an effort to be caring toward other people above ourselves seems to be an impossible goal. However, when we love others with God's uncoditional love for us, that goal can be reached. 
   
   We can see the difference made by God's love when we come in contact with the Christians around us. When we have God's love in us, we really try to put others above ourselves (Rom.12:10). We are especially sensitive to the needs of those around us (1 Jn.3:17). We ask others their opinion before we make decision involving the group (Heb.12:14). We help in whatever way we can with the means we have (Rom.12:13). We are concerned about another's reaction and feelings before we make a comment (Jas.3:2-5). We think about the consequence our actions will have on others before we perform those actions (Gal.5:22-23).
   
   I thank God for selecting us to be part of the Christian community and for giving us friends who truly care for us. Most of all, let's thank God for giving us strength to love those who we feel are unlovable at times.... I'm trying to love those who are un-lovable.... though it is indeed so hard... but I'm trying....      

Posted at Thursday, August 11, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

 
Monday, August 08, 2005
nEW dAY
   Have a wonderful sharing & fellowshipping with my Manong & Manang last Saturday. Oh, what a lovely day that I got to hear from them again... I miss them so much and really would love to meet them in God's time... Talked with my sister Shine as well and got news about her life otta there.. so hectic and so busy... I know since there would be alot of workload that she will be having on the coming days for her work... wheeww.... so busy la...      
   
   Tried calling my Tito Monching, unsuccessful; my call prompted into his answering machine...
   
   Yani's mom get offended on me when I failed to showed up last Saturday but I didn't forget to ring her to advised that I an un-able to do so... but of course promised to see her on the following day which is Sunday...
   My Ate Moonjay got robbed Saturday night like what happened to me.. but this time she was harassed physically and emotionally... Oh, God... I'm still praying for her... she was still crying when I got home... I got home late last Saturday at about 11 in the evening and I really thanked God that nothing happened to me. My mom was so worried why I was not home during those hours... I didn't reasoned out to avoid any arguments...
 
   Sunday, woke up early to attend church- miss my church mates actually... I miss singing and leading the congregation to worship... indeed a wonderful service but then why can't feel anything at all... [deep sigh] Manong was indeed right... it is more than singing, dancing and hearing His word... it is supposed to be deep within...
   
   Met Yani's mom and go with her to spend the whole day in their place... Oh, I miss them so much... I miss everyone most especially Kenneth... I miss Tita Con... though often times when I go in their house she's always sleeping... I spend the whole afternoon with her, talking and having a bonding... how I miss those days... she even shared to me things that brings me much closer to her... I actually missed her... I did took a nap on her bed that I normally do even before... Kenneth was there bugging me to go home by 8 in the evening. He kept on kissing me and hugging me... and he kept on telling me good things about him actually... about the stars he got from school because of job well done, that he already knows how to read and this and that... oh I am so proud of him... he even asked me if I could put him to sleep that I normally do before... I miss those... I was so touched by the warmth that they make me feel... Tita Donna, Tita Ibeb, Tita Ana, Tita Juliet and Tita Con... I will never ever forget you guys... I exactly know how much you guys loved me... and indeed I also love you guys in return... I'm praying that you moved on just like what I did... I thanked Tita Juliet and Tita Ibeb for encouraging me to have a new boyfriend... ha..ha.. and to Tita Ana... I will always love Yani... he is forever into my heart and I already accepted the fact that we are not meant for each other... I will not forget him and he always have a special place into my heart as always.... I am so thankful that I have met you wonderful people... thank you so much.....

   I know it is the Lord who will repay you back in everything that you have done into me... I will always love you guys.... and will forever be thankful to the Lord Almighty for giving me a second family....          

Posted at Monday, August 08, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

 
Saturday, August 06, 2005
After 2 Years
   A Time to Forget - the hurts and the pains, the sorrows and the suffering need to let them go... Ezsie Star

   Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. Phil. 3:13

   Today is Yani's 2nd year death anniversary.... It's been awhile when all of us were crying and into mourning when our dear Yani passed away on the early morn of August 6, 2003. I remembered when my Tita Connie (Yani's Aunt) called me in the middle of the morning of that day @ 0235. She cannot speak well and indeed crying on the other line then she told me "Ez, wala na sya"... I could not believed what I just heard... I replied her with a sob then hung up... I was still on my bed sitting then I shouted to my mom... Mommy... Wala na si Yani... I was yelling in pain of losing him.. then my eldest sister Ate Twinkle ran into me and embrace me... I was crying uncontrollably and refused to be comforted... I don't know what to do... then this cold wind blew from outside the window and I heard my dog Assi barking into me...

   I dont know what happened next... all I remembered is that I am already infront of Yani's lifeless body in the hospital and embracing him... I could still feel his warmed body and now lifeless... My mom was there so with my other sisters who are supporting me in this most painful event of my life... feels like I'm dying and that so hopeless at all... 

   Deep dark secrets revealed and nothing was hidden... though truth hurts and I have nothing to hold on but to accept things and forgive... I heard alot of 'em... and it hurts me even more... like what I have said "I was not hurt that he left me but on what he left me"... I love him more than myself and I believed it is love that maketh me forgive him... I am not angry and that is for sure... no, not to anyone... I know we have flaws that how perfect we may seem but deep inside of us we are all sinners...  just like what the bible says that "Love covers a multitude of sins"... and that is actually what happened to me... my love for him covers it all... I understand him and that I totally forgive him...

   And now after 2 years, here I am still walking with the Lord and I believed my relationship with the Father grows in my each and every day... which I am so thankful of....

   The end of one year and the dawning of a new one provide an excellent opportunity to wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start. the well known preacher Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) said: "We have passed through one more year. One more long stage in the journey of life, with it's ascents and descents and dust and mud and rocks and thorns and burdens that wear the shoulders, is done. The old year is dead. Roll it away. Let it go. God, in His providence, has brought us out of it. It is gone;.... it's evil has perished, and the good survives."

   Those who know the Lord Jesus as their Saviour can let go of the past and move ahead with assurance because Jesus provides forgiveness and hope. Having confessed their sin, "forgetting those things which are behind," they can confidently face the future, "reaching forward to those things which are ahead" (Phil. 3:13). Remembering God's faithfulness and forgetting past mistakes will make entering another year a time of joyous anticipation.
   
   Yes, we can leave the sins and failures, hurts and pains, suffering and mourning behind us, accept His forgiveness, and press on to the higher ground. As far as our shortcomings are concerned, we can make the beginning of the following year a time to forget....

Look not back on yesterday
So full of failure and regret;
Look ahead and seek God's way
All sin confessed you must forget.


My quote: Never let a dark past cloud a bright future.   

 

 

Posted at Saturday, August 06, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

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