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Sunday, July 03, 2005
FoRGiVinG sUnDaY
   I know I am too early for today and this is not the first Sunday that'll be away from my church. I indeed miss my fellow bretheren in the church, my music ministry, and my pastor of course... I will not be able to see them for a month I guess... maybe you will ask why? It is because starting today I will be having a Sunday duty from 1100 to 2000... [deep sigh] what do you think? I know I will not be left behind from my spiritual feeding and thank God that our mother church is just a walk away from my office.
   I actually love weekend duty, since there are no much calls to attend and I have the whole hours to spend doing stuff that I normally can't do during weekdays and it is the time I spent in answering all my mails updating my site and re-typing some of the songs that'll be use for the church and I did some researching for the guitar chords of songs that we needed for the music ministry. No irate callers on the line, no nagging clients, no rude and demanding clients as well... Oh I just love Sunday schedule....
   This Sunday - 3rd of July year 2005 I rang my Uncle who lived in the USA that I never heard of, since when I was young. He is one of the reasons why I wanted to go there just to look for him. I was so nervous and indeed my heart is beating so fast and so loud that I could not even hear the other line ringing. When I heard a voice, I politely asked for the name of my Uncle and indeed what a great joy to hear that he is the one speaking. I can't stop talking and sharing to him about how I, we missed him so much. Not long ago reasons why I or my family intentionally lost contact with him is that I felt so bad on things that happened between him, my other relatives and my family. We are not Christians during those times and for sure I felt anger on news that I heard about him... I felt pain and hatred for him but then when my whole family fully surrender in the Lord, the longing of him in our hearts grew stronger everyday to look for him and may forgiveness happen. He was included into our family prayers almost everyday and the need of seeing grew much intense and we just let God's hand to work on it. It's almost eight years now that we are christians and we still didin't hear anything about him then just last month that we needed help so badly he happened to be there to help. I praise you Lord that indeed things happened in your time... in your own perfect time... I was crying over the phone asking his forgiveness and so he is... I'm a grown up lady now and still longed for a Dad... I told him my hurts, trials and pains and even my desperations and expectations. I was crying as if I was crying into the lap of my Dad telling him that I was badly hurt... I found peace and solance when I was crying so hard and he was there to listen to me... I FOUND PEACE... I asked his forgiveness that somehow in one way or another I was so angry at him for no known reasons.. then it's time for him to speak... I listen intently as if I was listening to a dad who is giving his words of wisdom to me.... and there I found out that after all these time he suffered so badly as well... I heard his pains, trials, and struggles living in a far away foreign land... I may say that I am still blessed.. he is living there alone though a brother of him is there but it maketh him feel that he is non existent... [deep sigh]... 
   Lord, I thanked you so much for this day. Indeed a very lovely day....
   We have been talking for four long hours and I didn't care at all that it is already late and time for me to go... I don't care at all and I believed I poured out all my heart cries that evening. Everything as in everything.... We already hung up and I could still hear his voice in my ear speaking giving a deep sigh as he talked and told me his struggles.... I never had a heart to heart conversation like this one with my dad... yet God is so loving to give me this Uncle of mine... if he just only knew how my heart glow for love, for forgiveness and for thanks to the Lord upon hearing him... and how much my spirit was lifted up rejoicing to the Father... If he only knew that I wanted to embrace him and to kiss him.... Indeed a wonderful and Forgiving Sunday today....                       

Friday, July 01, 2005
bUsY LiFe
      Okay let me do this quick, I am indeed so busy now which I really hated at all... It's supposed to be my day off but unfortunately my higher up's told be to be on the floor. Oh, my! so have to sacrifice my day off for the week huh... Oh! before, I used to have a two days off then reduced to one and now what? Reduced to none?... Okay la... I just can't get it... I am indeed to focus into my work... and it's not good at all.. why am I like this? I left home too early and then arrived home too late at night. I haRdly see my sisters, my brother and I even missed my mom's nagging at me. If you asked me what kind of life I am living now... oh, I am on the busy life.. sob..sob..sob.. but I am trying to make things out and that I won't compromise my walk of Faith... heeLLPPP!  

Wednesday, June 29, 2005
My Published Name
   A very busy me seems not to noticed news around me at all.... hmmppp... I really do not want this attitude of mine since I tend to focus into things and forget what are going on around me... my work is the only thing that mostly accupies my mind which is I believed not good at all... [deep sigh] this should not be and I supposed be aware of what is happening around me like the flow of the government, economy, current event and so on... oh, which I normally do know before when I was just a simple, happy go luck agent on the floor... but now... [deep sigh] I don't even have time to my self... poor me!
   It was then when one of my colleagues happily told me that my name was published in a mag that she is currently reading... Oh! I remember now, I wrote a comment in that mag before I left to Kuala Lumpur and I never thought that my comment will be chosen as an entry for this month of July that actually won me a prize. The whole floor indeed so happy for me on what happened.... oh, this is the 3rd time around that I joined an entry in a nationwide newspaper & mag that I won... Thank you Lord for that never expected it..
   I have to changed and indeed needed to be more aware of my environment....

Posted at Wednesday, June 29, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

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