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Sunday, June 12, 2005
Sudden Change
      Sudden Change..... nothing permanent, nothing stays together, nothing remains forever.... nothing last but frequent and constant change... but there is one thing that I know for over a thousand years He remains... He stays and always no matter what happened He is always there.... Forever He remains and forever He will stay...

      Surprise.... surprise.... I know some or most likely those who used to passed by and read this site of mine will definitely ask "What happened?" Well... I just woke up the other day to change the color and be more serious on this... LOL... I am indeed serious.... The previous template that I used for almost 6 months is the other side of me... I mean the childish side of me.... I love the color pink that I used in my fonts, scroll bars and even in the title.... I love the moving stars as my background and the falling snow and I does not care at all for all those who come by and left a comment hating my background... It's what I like actually... being so playful, so naughty and so carefree.... that's me... I am indeed very childish and I guess I have to grow up.... I did express my self very boldly for the previous months and now that my natal day is coming it made me to think and paused for awhile... hmmmmppppp, I'm not getting any younger.... and I need changes in my life... actually alot of it has already made it's way into me and now my life is just getting even better....
      My younger sister visited my site the other day and told me that if she does not know me, she would think that a 13 year old girl is the one who made the site... I just laugh at her and she did told me that I am indeed so young at heart.... and advised to change it... actually alot of friends suggested it before but I did not take time to listen to them because I am indeed like the shades of Pink, Red and Blue... but I guess it's time for me to act on my age... no wonder people think that I am much younger than my age... because I always let my childishness comes along the way... which is not supposed to be... Deep sigh... and now is the start of it... but for sure I'll always be young at heart and I always have the childishness deep within me...

Posted at Sunday, June 12, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LoVe ThEy HaVe GiVeN (1)  

Saturday, June 11, 2005
My Insecurities...

   I really hated this when it comes into my self... this crept in like a poison that could kill me... deep sigh... I did enjoyed my stay in Malaysia and too obvious the food as well... and the outcome... dyarrand!!! I gained weight.... LOL.... upon return all were so surprised and cannot believed their eyes... Father, I humbly asking for your forgiveness for all my thoughts... Forgive me... I now feel so insecure and un-confident enough on my weight.... Forgive me if I let insecurity crept into me and now all my insecruties of the past kept coming back and haunting me.... I know You made me beautiful because I was formed accordingly as what is written in Psalm 139:13-14... Your the one who made me please take away this unclean thoughts that is on my mind.. fill me with your presence Lord... let me think nothing but you and you alone my dear God....

   My sharing...
   .....'Take delight in honouring each other.' Romans 12:10    
I just read something that makes me realized things over... Legend has it that when Hitler was looking for a chauffer he selected the shortest man he could find and kept him as his driver for the rest of his life. The man was so short that he needed special blocks under the driver's seat just to see over the steering wheel. Hitler used the poor guy to make himself look bigger than he really was.

   I did smiled upon reading this, I know if I feel constantly threatened by somebody else's looks or popularity or ability... it only means to say that I have a problem that needs to be dealth with... That problem I believed is "Insecurity"; it hangs around with it's mate - jealousy. It actually spoiled my day and seriously  limit my tomorrow.
   Apostle Paul says, "Take delight in honouring each other' (Romans 12:10 TLB). That means thinking well and speaking well about the people around you. It means not getting in a mood when you're not first, top or the center of attention. It only means not developing a victim complex just because I seem to have a tougher time in life then some other people. Honouring others means helping them be the best they can be in life. That's something I can do today - even if it means sacrifising one's self to do it. As I looked into my friends, their desires, their talents and their opportunities I need to find a seed in thier life that I can water with encouragement. If I do it, I know for sure that I will find a joy of seeing that person blossom before my eyes... And when I start giving out about my insecurities in life... I know those will be starved of attention and will begin to die away.... and that I can't lose!.....     

Posted at Saturday, June 11, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LoVe ThEy HaVe GiVeN (1)  

Friday, June 10, 2005
Pressured Life

   Almost a week I wasn't able to update my post... sigh... verryyyyy, verrrryyyy bussssy indeed.... alot of new assignments, new job description has been added into my daily chores.... my manager talked to me just only last Tuesday about what I have been praying for.... Thank God that my questions has been answered... she did explained to me about all the sudden changes that has been happening lately... hayyyyy.....
   I now came to know that they are honing me to be one of the three people to be a Customer Service Specialist... I never thought of that.... all the while all I know is that I have no place to be stay to since I already learned things easily.... it's quite challening and as what I expect alot of new workload has been added.... expect the unexpected as well since I'm going to handle a team... composed of people with different attitude, values and different views in life... tough job isn't it... though I could easily blend but the thing is I am really praying so hard because I don't want to break what I am right now... what I mean to say is that I don't want to compromise in whatever I might be doing just to let these people follow me... I for sure cannot please people and for sure I don't need to please people but God.... it's different when you are in this kind of field because they are not the same as me... I know I'm different and I am looking things in another perspective now... It's really hard you know, but there is nothing to hard for the Lord as what the scripture says.... hmmppp.... everyday is a winding road.... everyday is a learning process... everyday is another day of whatever the Lord wants me to know, to feel, to understand, to do, to look at and to passed on... I just have to be focus into Him... to Him and Him alone.... 

Oh, my soul   
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
It's been told from the beginning
The Lord your God is on your side...    

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