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Wednesday, June 01, 2005
They don't know what to do to me???

Sigh...sigh...sigh...and another deep sigh... hmmmpppp.... how would I start my story to you...

Oh... since I started liking my gaveyard schedule there goes another changes to my life again... The Management dunno what to do to me anymore!!! aaarrrhhhhggg! My supervisor talked to me yesterday and advised me that the other project needed me... Oh, my!!! I have to give up another project which I came to love and like and accepted as my new like now...... he advised me to come to office at 0930 starting today for my new schedule... would you think that's a nice idea? I don't think so... I tried to reasoned out to him to give me sometime like a week to stay in OSPR he told me that he himself really liked me in the team but the higher ups is the one who requested me to be in this project.... sigh..sigh..sigh... and more sigh.... I don't know what to do... I feel like crying in front of him but I control my emotions coming out... I did have my shades with me then told him that I need rest and will see him tomorrow... it's not that I don't like the job, actually it's flattering on my part since I was chosen among the many to handle the project and they believed in me that I can do it but the case is... why in a very short notice???... the job is indeed great and another no sweat since I am so familiar with the nature of the job as well as the system... It made me feel that they could just throw me into other project as easy as that

Well, I can't say no to them right?... I have nothing to do but to follow and no more if's & but's... that's why I am here right now seating to another agent to be familiarized again on the new job... sigh... it made me feel that they don't care at all on how am I feeling being thrown into different projects every week... actually it's alright with me but of course within reason and a period of time... it's an advantage to me as well since I will come to learn every single project the company is handling... see it's career wise decision but of course "they must give me sometime"... and guess what now I'm back on the floor again... I'm quite glad because I'm dealing with the  client again but at the same time feeling not good but still I'll do my best to this project....

Oh my God, I don't have plans and I am lifting all of this to you... I thanked you so much and please give me a willing heart to possibly do everything that I can for this project... On my own might alone I cannot do this but with your aid I know I can... so please help me God.... Amen...

Posted at Wednesday, June 01, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
My 1st Night

   This is my  first night where I am away from my bed as well as my Khuoopie in my own country. [Deep sigh] Indeed I’m beginning to like it and would have my daily routine during night then… It’s kinda different when you are working at night while the whole city is asleep while sleeping while the whole city is awake. Sounds like creature of the night huh… ha..ha..ha… but anyhows the stress is indeed different as well… I think it is much stressful during graveyard shifts than working on the normal working day…. Were quite loaded today of packages from different flights… the supposed to be flights is only five but added of another one coming from Singapore…. We are in a hurry to asses documentations as well as in correcting needed details for customs processing… whewww indeed my 1st graveyard shift is memorable… I don’t feel hungry because of the scheduled time of my eating I guess though I have this kind of work before way back when I was in college…while doing a correspondence in a morning paper and doing an on-the-job-training as a disc jockey in a radio station… hollaa… but that was so long ago and now I am up by those hours …. I have with me is Gladys, Brix and Raymond…. you’ll be amazed how serious the four of us while doing our job… no one is talking, everybody is so quiet, focused and indeed try to beat the deadline for the submission… I am laughing while glancing to the three of them… I can’t help it… I’m a noisy person so you guess right, that I am the only one talking and my voice filled the whole floor….just like before, I remember my voice filled the whole city at night when I’m doing the evening announcements and reading the dedications before playing the requested songs… those were the days… and now as I sat on my station looking through the window seeing the whole Makati City I just let go of a smile because this is another chapter of my life… Graveyard shifts Sucks… but I learned to love it…. Right now I’m learning to like and love it… just like before….

   I did have a good weekend… I was chosen to be a godmother of baby Isaac Nicholai youngest son of my church mate… I embraced him after the Sunday service and I felt joy seeing that little face shows innocence that brought joy into my heart… I know someday I’ll be a mom too and that “Patiently I’ll Wait”… hmmmpppppp….. My youth counselor congratulate me for a job well done given to me… I told him that to God be the praises and glory… I am only a channel being used for it… what else… I cannot sleep well… I don’t know why? Perhaps because I was too excited on my new working schedule… “My Night Life”…. I know it will be kinda hard but I will like it later on…. And also my day off is different now… I will be having my day off during weekdays so it means that I will not be able to showed up to my church during Sundays… Actually Sunday is my life… for the many years I stayed in my company I always see to it that my off would be Sunday because it is the only day I spend with my whole family, my church mate, and my youth group…. I remember what my Manong told me that I could do praise God even not in a Sunday which is the way I was brought up with… I could attend service during weekdays as well.. that I don’t have to limit my self that it must to be Sundays only… I understand… I fully understand… I would not missed meaty service as well because it’s just soooo the same… the difference is the day itself only… but the service, the heart that will worship it will just be the same… Praise God I am already prepared for that….. Actually I miss my Manong and I am praying to the Lord that somehow, somewhere, someday I’ll see him and also I miss Manang as well… I hope I could still see her again but the probability of seeing her on my own would be too difficult now… My sister who used to live in Baguio decided to work here in Mnaila again… [Deep sigh] after my sister’s vacation there (my other siblings I mean) she decided to work here in the city because she misses home to badly… hayyy “Homesick Baby”…. But anyhow, let your will be done oh Lord… and that I pray in Jesus name… Amen….          

Friday, May 27, 2005
It's Friday La...

      My OSPR job gave me a bit headached la... Now I know that it's indeed critical sometimes on how to asses dox in the customs... and you know what (deep sigh) shpr don't know how to fill up proper infos that is supposed to be in the dox as well as the address of the cnee... Oh my!... it gave us a hard time to fix this kind of errors everyday by the OSPR teams... why in the world most of the shipper is like that? They will give address and only the City name is there. Could you imagine no exact address just only Sydney? Hollaaa... Sydney is a very huge state la.... where the hell in Sydney?.....he..he..he... and also I believed that, it is a Fedex policy that we do not accept PO box address... most especially to Au... but guess what? I did have to fixed 150 PO Box Addresses today that's why I haven't have the chance to write earlier... but anyways I kinda beginning to like my job so far... It's almost a week now that I am doing this job of mine... Let me tell you from talking now into serious silence... my colleagues told me everytime that they will passed by beside THAT I AM "SO SERIOUS!" Ha..ha..ha.. Forgot to mention that I'm one of the most outspoken on the floor before that is why they can't believed in surprise be shut up for the longest possible time ever...

   I engraved a letter to a friend today remembering some of my funny memories in Malaysia, I have this friend who love to bugged me let me share some parts of my letter...

   Got a mail from Avin, it was toooo long I'm telling you... he's mail made me smile and easen the stress that I have for today la... Indeed stories of friends from distant shore made my day complete... I re-read his e-mail 3 times today just to get of the exhustion that I'm feeling... It made me smiled most especially when he mentioned my "Khuoopie" la... and my elmo la... Told him that I gave my Elmo to my younger sister. Actually I tried several times in replacing my Teddy Bear "Khuoopie" but I can't find any bear that could replace him. I have that little stuff toy with me for the longest possible time immemorial..he..he."Khuoopie" is too old already, he undergone so many washes and surgery..ha.ha. though I received so many stuff toys mostly huge one's that small teddy bear, I cannot sleep without is still my number one la... I remember what you told the group about that bear... because I used to hold that in my fist close to my heart or to my face... ha..ha..ha... that bear is for wiping my saliva while sleeping la.... "Bad Dev!"... ha..ha..ha.. now everytime before I sleep and have that teddy with me, it reminds me of you now la!

    Funny me.... I miss those friends so much... and receiving mails from any of my friends indeed lighten up my day ... It's Friday....hooorrrrrayyy, hoooorrrrayyyyy, yipppeyyy, yipppeeeyyyyy it only means to say that I have my weekends to rest and to relax... I need your prayers, I'll be leading the congregation to the praise & worship service this coming Sunday... I'll do my best and let God do the rest...

    Father give me a heart of worship and let my soul glorifies you and you alone... let my lips and my voice sing to you, let my feet dance in the joyful song that I'll be singing to you.... Lord my heart cries out glory to my King my greatest love in life, I hand you everything,  glory... glory I hear the angels sing... be upon me Lord and let me praise and give worship to you oh my God.... Amen...

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