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Sunday, February 27, 2005
~ My Heart Glow for Love ~

When I saw Yani smiled...

 Visit My Mail Stamp! 

       I was awaken by a dream, a dream that I am wishing to have almost everyday of my life...because through that dream Yani is alive..... through that dream I could talk to him just like he is still there.... alive.....just like before..... It's almost a year now when I dreamed of this dream again but now it is totally different..... everytime I dreamed of him (before) made me cried hard and feeling of loneliness, sadness and pain will choke my heart.... but not until this dream.....

   It's like in a movie preview..... a scene flashed and I saw Yani was there asking me for forgiveness.... I'm not angry but feel so pissed off which I really don't know the reason why?.... he was so persistent on asking me to forgive him....then I looked into his eyes and I saw there the sincerity on what he is pleading on me... I feel something inside of me that was awaken by those stares and I told okay....I already forgiven you.... whilch I believed comes from the bottom of my heart.....on the moment I said those words I have seen Yani's face became so bright and so happy..... I Have seen him smiled at me saying "Thank You!"...then a memory came back to me....I almost forgot Yani is with the Lord already... sigh.... I never thought of that all the while that I have an argument with HIm..... I feel the love which I cannot explain beacause it feels like my heart glow for love and I could hear it beating steadily... the difference from my previous dream about Yani is that this makes me feel so free,  so light....... it opened my heart into a different level and that we both received reconcilation from the hurts that I have gone through..... and I never cried .. not a single tear from my eyes fall brought me joy..... exceeding joy... then I saw Yani's face smiling and faded in a distance leaving me behind setting me free.... another deliverance happened again ...I know I am totally healed on what happened in the evening of August 3, 2003... and I thank you Lord for this.... let your name be praised.....
The dream awaken me and made me feel not the cold that usually wakes me up but joy into my heart... I know I'll be going to walk again without carrying anything and any burden inside my heart anymore... which is I am so thankful of. Thank you so much.... thank you so much....   

Visit My Mail Stamp!


Posted at Sunday, February 27, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

~ PanagBenga ~

.....Blooming Baguio.....

   I have been to Baguio countless times yet I was not able to witness Panag-Benga. I am so excited as ever. I have seen Baguio's "Flower Festival" only on TV and I know it'll be more livelier and lovelier seing those things in front of my eyes...not until Last February 27th...The Flower festival was indeed amazing. Session Road was paraded of it's "Pride" and really I can't take my eyes out of it...Indeed a very wonderful sight...

   Dear Lord,

   Thank You so much fo a very wonderful day! Indeed I have alot of memories to look back from. Thank you for a good day spent with my sister, her friends Lorena and Julius both are employee of Texas Instrument Baguio. We (my sister & me) left the house so early after eaten our breakfast. Both of us already strolling the way to session road where the float full of Baguio's pride (of course different flowers that adorn Baguio) lined up for the parade. Alot of ethnic and native costumes and themes arrayed the festival. Me and my sister took time posing in front of those captivating float. We walked past the festival and settled down on the stoned stairways going up to St Louise Cathedral facing the session road where the parade will passed by.... We occupied the middle steps where you could feel the cold Baguio wind blowing and touching my skin.

   Praise and honour be Yours forever. Thank you for creating a place like Baguio. The Flower festival was indeed amazing. The climate was so cold and so fine and dandy that make me feel being so close to you. The wind smells of a sweet scent of pine trees. The mountains are indeed so lovely, as the fog covers it. Behold a magnificent sight that made me even more to praise you. The marvelous place fueled the desire inside of me to stay here in Baguio but I know....I can't...I have a family left back in Manila and my work is waiting me way down there...SigH....

   Lord, please be upon me, I know you have plans ahead of me....plans which I really know nothing of... but Lord whatever it is let your will be done into my life....


Posted at Sunday, February 27, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

Saturday, February 26, 2005
~ A Busy Day ~

~ Client Logic
~ Dinner @ Pizza Volante
. . . I met Manang Lizette. . .
~ Met Lorena
~ Street Party
~ Roamed around the City


Hold me close
let your love surrounds me
bring me me near
draw me to you side
and as I wait
I'll rise up like an eagle
and I will soar with YOu
Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love

   I'm praying LOrd, please be upon me... let your will be done into my life Lord. I thank you so much. I stayed behind and cleaned the house. I enjoyed the scenery that makes me to stand most of my time in front of the door staring on the sky, the pine trees, the mountains, hay.... talagang ang Ganda, ganda nya Lord... I feel your presence seeing your hand working on all of these.... ang bango ng hangin and ang lamig, lamig.... I did my sister's laundry which she asked favour for me to do before she left the place... I am praying and having my fasting...Lord, how I love having these intimate moments with you. That I am thinking nothing but you...what a joy that I have into my heart... after I'm finished on the laundry I took a bath and went to Client Logic to pass my resume... Lord kaw na pong bahala sa kin huh....

Client Logic

   Ooppss, they don't have office..I almost forgot it's Saturday pala so I went back to the house and waited for my sister to arrive... I told her that I will be meeting a dear friend today.

Meet Lizette @ Pizza Volante
   My sister suggested a very nice place to dine and to meet this special freind of mine... She suggested to meet her @ Pizza Volante. Well, the place is good and only in Baguio. They don't have branches way down in Manila and I believed they all have the very best up there in Baguio. Wow, they are serving Italian and European foods... starting from the pasta as well as the pizzas... the price is competetive enough to well known pizza parlor.

   I kept on texting this friend of mine, me and my sister was so excited to meet her.... mas lalo na koh... my sister told me what is so special about this friend of mine that I have to carry all such stuff and made me to look for the nearest PCBS...and indeed I can't hide the excitement in my eyes staring at the street looking for Manang Lizette. I told my sister that I will be meeting the Fiance' of my very best friend.... then she made the order already of a huge Italian Pizza and of course Pasta the specialty of the house... Well, Manang LIzette with her company arrived I was as happy as ever. I am on my same self so happy to meet her, so bubly and so noisy welcoming her.

   ...Sigh...Things weren't the same with her....I haven't heard any single word from her I tried to open up a conversation but she is as cold as "Frozen"... why so sudden everything change and gone so sour and so cold???.... Lord, would this be the effect of me being so honest about my feelings?? I believed something had been shaken up between the two of us....LOrd, all the while I have been very honest to her... since from the start I did not kept my feelings to Manong.... I accepted things open arms...Lord, I already accepted the fact that Manong does not love me and will never learn to love me.... I already undergone into that know how I did struggle from the pains and hurts Lord...and now I can make it in through the rain...and I can face things now with a smile..... I have given up to you Lord, everything that I am.... I believed that when she told me that she already forgiven me Lord I feel free from the pain...... Lord, my sister is a firm Christian and as far as I know she could discern spirits of a person. Well, Manang Lizette did not stayed long and bid good bye I still wanted her to feel that I indeed love her.... I hugged and kissed her. It saddened me Lord, because for a very short time that I have spent with her. It hurt me because I felt not being forgiven on what I have done.... Lord, I believed that I have done nothing wrong but to fall in-love...I never thought all the while Lord that I will still be falling in-love again...and to a person who already loved someone.... Lord, when she left.... my sister asked me if that am I really her friend? because she seem so distant and just staring at me and doesn't seem to be happy seing me around.. I did rebuke her and told Shine please.... I love this person and that meeting her today gave me the answer that I have been asking the Lord before going up here... now I believed that I have to finish and cut all the remaining communication connected me to the two of them...I am at peace in doing that and I know that is what You what me to do as well...

   Lord, you have given me life and you have plans in me. I thank you so much Lord for this day and I believed Lord that you let things such as this one to happen with reason and plans....

   Met Lorena ( My sister's Friend & Officemate)

   My sister know what I have felt after my encouter with Manang Lizette, I cannot hide it to her that I am really hurt and I felt so sad about the friendship that we already had and to cheer me up she called her friend Lorena to meet us @ SM Baguio. She also knew as well that I love to meet new friends and that letting me meet her friend would somehow changed my mood...(nice try sis.... because it did).. I met Lorena and she is a bubly person just like night was different then...we did not stayed long because they have office tomorrow...after we said our goodbyes...

   Street Party

   My sister and I, did not headed home so we stayed behind and danced the night away with Baguio's street party. We are not actually with the crowed dancing but we were there to witness every move of the crowd. It was too cold and yet people dancing makes the place hot and even hotter... sigh.... actually I did not enjoyed much because it is not my life anymore... I have given it all up to the Lord when I accepted Him... 

   Roamed the City

   Baguio is very Lovely at night and the wind that hovered the place is so cold that made me chill all the way home. In the middle of the night fireworks display graces the night sky...I forgot being sad for awhile yet it is still there and I just prayed it out to the Lord....                    

Posted at Saturday, February 26, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

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