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Saturday, August 06, 2005
After 2 Years
   A Time to Forget - the hurts and the pains, the sorrows and the suffering need to let them go... Ezsie Star

   Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. Phil. 3:13

   Today is Yani's 2nd year death anniversary.... It's been awhile when all of us were crying and into mourning when our dear Yani passed away on the early morn of August 6, 2003. I remembered when my Tita Connie (Yani's Aunt) called me in the middle of the morning of that day @ 0235. She cannot speak well and indeed crying on the other line then she told me "Ez, wala na sya"... I could not believed what I just heard... I replied her with a sob then hung up... I was still on my bed sitting then I shouted to my mom... Mommy... Wala na si Yani... I was yelling in pain of losing him.. then my eldest sister Ate Twinkle ran into me and embrace me... I was crying uncontrollably and refused to be comforted... I don't know what to do... then this cold wind blew from outside the window and I heard my dog Assi barking into me...

   I dont know what happened next... all I remembered is that I am already infront of Yani's lifeless body in the hospital and embracing him... I could still feel his warmed body and now lifeless... My mom was there so with my other sisters who are supporting me in this most painful event of my life... feels like I'm dying and that so hopeless at all... 

   Deep dark secrets revealed and nothing was hidden... though truth hurts and I have nothing to hold on but to accept things and forgive... I heard alot of 'em... and it hurts me even more... like what I have said "I was not hurt that he left me but on what he left me"... I love him more than myself and I believed it is love that maketh me forgive him... I am not angry and that is for sure... no, not to anyone... I know we have flaws that how perfect we may seem but deep inside of us we are all sinners...  just like what the bible says that "Love covers a multitude of sins"... and that is actually what happened to me... my love for him covers it all... I understand him and that I totally forgive him...

   And now after 2 years, here I am still walking with the Lord and I believed my relationship with the Father grows in my each and every day... which I am so thankful of....

   The end of one year and the dawning of a new one provide an excellent opportunity to wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start. the well known preacher Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) said: "We have passed through one more year. One more long stage in the journey of life, with it's ascents and descents and dust and mud and rocks and thorns and burdens that wear the shoulders, is done. The old year is dead. Roll it away. Let it go. God, in His providence, has brought us out of it. It is gone;.... it's evil has perished, and the good survives."

   Those who know the Lord Jesus as their Saviour can let go of the past and move ahead with assurance because Jesus provides forgiveness and hope. Having confessed their sin, "forgetting those things which are behind," they can confidently face the future, "reaching forward to those things which are ahead" (Phil. 3:13). Remembering God's faithfulness and forgetting past mistakes will make entering another year a time of joyous anticipation.
   Yes, we can leave the sins and failures, hurts and pains, suffering and mourning behind us, accept His forgiveness, and press on to the higher ground. As far as our shortcomings are concerned, we can make the beginning of the following year a time to forget....

Look not back on yesterday
So full of failure and regret;
Look ahead and seek God's way
All sin confessed you must forget.

My quote: Never let a dark past cloud a bright future.   



Posted at Saturday, August 06, 2005 by Star-Tariray


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