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Thursday, August 04, 2005
I'm Preparing to Live
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

It was two years ago, when I felt to ended my life... My Fiance died and as I looked at the world around me, I was so depressed by the moral and political chaos. There seemed to be no reason for me to go on, nothing for me to do.

I was into agony and indeed suffered so badly on what happened.. I was not hurt that he left me but I am so hurt on what he left me... The incident shaken my world and weaken my confidence into my self... I never know after all this time... and not until he is no more to explain to me the things that needed an explanation... things that I need to know.. things that needed to clear, things that is so absurd and things that I really can't comprehend so easily... All I am asking is WHY? I am not asking why did he died.. of course it is too obvious that it is God's will... and now that he is gone there is no one who will answer me... [deep sigh] Those were the days were I cannot make my self walk straight and think straight... where my world is so gloomy that I my self could not see the hope and that there is still a brighter tomorrow ahead of me...

At a church gathering one afternoon, I sat next to my youth Pastor who sensed my dejection. He asked me are you still mourning? I just gave a quick smile, shaking my head. Then he asked me "WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST CONCERN?" I gave a deep sigh and I didn't gave him any answer while in my head I answered him "I'M PREPARING TO DIE,"... then he shot back "WHY NOT PREPARE TO LIVE?" surprised on what I heard... That was the question I needed to hear to break the deadlock in my life. Then from that time on I began to see that God wanted me to live and to touch others for HIM. My attitude changed in my outlook in life, though not that easily but I know it is the Lord who is working out on me during those times.

I was not blaming God and who am I to blame HIM? He's my creator and the only reason I lived is to worship HIM.

Life can seem overwhelming at times, but God offers us hope. Apostle Paul wrote, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13).

Regardless of your age or circumstances, don't despair and "prepare to die." Believers in Christ can prepare to live filled with hope, joy, and peace.

The hope we have in Jesus Christ
Peplaces all despair;
He fills us with His joy and peace
And shows His love and care.


Posted at Thursday, August 04, 2005 by Star-Tariray


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